This morning I stepped on the scale three times. Each time, I received a different reading. It’s an old Weight Watcher’s scale. Instead of getting angry about it, I just go with the average of the three measurements.
A lot of my followers came here because I was sharing my progress with this weight loss challenge. It’s still a part of my life and I still feel like I owe readers some updates and tips on losing weight and keeping it off. It’s just not my sole focus right now.
My energy levels are nil these days. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the weather or the shorter days. October-November are always difficult months for me. I enjoyed working part-time hours for the summer months but I think that is coming to a swift end and I will be shifting back to full-time hours soon.
Having that extra day off was great. It gave me time to work on some home projects, and get some rest. Mondays were my days I spent in the kitchen doing food prep. Now sadly, I’ll have to spread out my chores throughout the week. A task that I’m terrible at. I’m good at a lot of things, but time management isn’t one of them.
Here I am back in 2011-2012, when I was learning photography. I was in the best shape of my life.
I’ve been thinking back a lot to the days where I dropped 70 pounds and managed to keep it off. I was at the peak of my musical career. I was performing in concerts that I organized myself. I networked like crazy and recruited local musicians to join me on stage.
A lot of fun was had. And I felt great about my body, the way I looked – and it shined through my performance. Here I am during a performance with two friends. Sadly, we lost Aaron a few years ago (guitar). And Sean Hillaby (stick) is a musician of many talents.
I was still chunky – but I looked and felt great. My skin was clear – and my hair was soft and healthy.
Here am I on a hike with my close friend Bev – Jasper, Valley of the 5 Lakes in 2012.
But when I gained all the weight back in 2015 after my knee blew during a mountain hike – well. It all went downhill from there.
I ballooned up to my heaviest weight at nearly 260 pounds. I’ve manged to shed some pounds since then – but still struggle to lose the the rest of the weight and keep it off. I know I’ve dropped some weight. My clothes are fitting better and I can walk longer than before. But it’s vicious cycle.
For about two or three weeks, I’ll do really well with exercising and eating healthy. But then I have a few days where I have a migraine or the arthritis is really bad, and I gain a couple of pounds. One that has been a life long battle.
I’m back into a good routine now I think. I use my mini cycle five times a week for about 30-40 minutes, do lunges, half squats and use the exercise ball for strength.
I was looking through some older pictures last night as I cleaned out my office for my upcoming move in the spring. And even though I’m heavy now – I look no where as big as I did between 2003-2005. I was huge then. Maybe weighed even more at my tiny 5’4.5″ frame. (That extra half an inch is important.)
Looking back at those old pictures made me even more determined to stick to my goals and work hard. While I still have some tweaking to do on my diet (I love those carbs), exercising daily is what does it for me.
I can’t wait to move in February and have access to a real home fitness centre. Being able to go downstairs and workout whenever I want to will be a huge bonus. Four months is a long time to wait for good things. Having access to the nature trails will be amazing too.
Here’s a picture of me during that peak time when I was doing weekly nature trails and mountain hiking. I miss those days. A lot.
Hiking was like a spiritual reset for me. Hiking along is something I’ll always treasure and remember with fondness. I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that again with my knee.
So, what are my goals? What am I up to now? It’s still a struggle for me to lose weight. The weight gain is a huge reason why my career didn’t take off when it should have. I hid behind the organ – literally when I gained it all back. Even though I have the equipment now to make Youtube videos, I still don’t want to appear on camera. And maybe never will.
My goal is to keep at it. To keep the determination and keep the faith. One day, I’ll get back into the shape I was in 2011-2014. I was successful in keeping the weight off for three years, I know I can do it again.
Thanks for sticking with me as I switch focus to other areas. Weight loss is still a part of my life – always will be – but it doesn’t have to define who I am or what I do here. And it shouldn’t have to for you.
Song of the Day
Rather than starting a new post, this is my current mood. This song popped up while writing this out. And it always gets me inspired. I love Rob Thomas. He’s like a young Rod Stewart.
“We build it up, and tear it down. We leave our pieces on the ground. We are lost and are fallen. Hold onto to me. You’re all I have.”